Figuring out how to ask a girl out is an issue that has plagued anyone interested in women for as long as there was anyone to ask out in the first place.
It’s tough!
You’re putting yourself on the line to ask someone to consider being romantically involved with you. If you fail, you have to suffer a little bit of humiliation. If you succeed, you get the amazing chance to spend time with the person you like.
You’ve got to do it, though, because you wouldn’t forgive yourself if you didn’t. We’re going to give you some expert tips on ways to ask a girl out and give yourself the best chance for success.
Let’s get started.
1. Don’t Wait Too for Too Long
Our first tip for dating success is to strike while the iron is hot.
While the “friendzone” is something that might not actually exist, there’s something to be said about the categories we put people in as we get to know them.
The longer you know someone in an unromantic way, the more they solidify into that category. You might have even had a brief instant of flirtation with one of your best friends, only to have it squashed out by the passing of time.
If you’re interested in someone, let them know as soon as you can. The more time that passes, the more time you have to think too hard and muddle your emotions into something called “anxiety.”
The last thing you want in this process is more anxiety than is normal. This brings us to the next point.
2. Embrace Your Nerves
Everyone gets nervous before they ask someone out.
Even the coolest, smoothest people around are bound to have a few butterflies before they ask somebody out. In fact, someone who doesn’t show any nerves when they’re making a romantic gesture might seem a little bit cold.
When we smother our natural feelings of excitement and suspense, we do a little bit of compensating. We start to puff our feathers up and pretend like nothing can hurt us when the opposite is actually true.
This comes off as arrogance or aloofness, and those qualities are unattractive to most people. A little slip-up or shakiness in your voice, in most cases, will seem endearing and maybe even charming.
Be earnest. If you like the person, being your actual self right off of the bat is the best bet for success. It doesn’t matter if your cheeks are red and you forget the lines you rehearsed.
3. Pick an Appropriate Date Spot
What if someone asked you out on a fancy date before they even knew you?
It would seem a little weird, even if you were attracted to the person. Nobody wants to get too formal with the first date. The goal is to spend some time and see if you enjoy hanging out with each other, it doesn’t have to be anything else than that.
Go get a slice at Pinsa Pizza and see how it goes. Depending on the person, a bite to eat and a walk through the city with a little conversation might be the absolute perfect first date.
4. Clean Yourself Up
There are a lot of biological reasons that cleanliness is attractive.
Some grooming standards are the result of culture, but a lot of them have to do with staying alive and picking the best mates to have children with. We know that’s not where your head is at on a conscious level, but a lot of what motivates us in life has to do with making babies.
That’s true even if we don’t ever plan to have kids in the first place.
Presenting yourself as someone who can take care of themselves is important for a first impression. If you already know the person, this might be the first time they’re considering you in a romantic light, so it’s still kind of a first impression.
You don’t have to wear a suit and tie, but you should just look your best for the situation. If it’s a casual hangout, make sure you’re wearing clean clothes. Asking a girl out is half you, half the way you appear to the girl.
You can win half of the battle by taking a little extra time getting clean before you leave the house.
5. Smile, Listen
Our final pointer is to be kind, wear your natural smile, and don’t get too wrapped up in your thoughts. That’s sort of three separate pointers, but you can think of them all as one act of being empathetic.
Who wants to go on a date with someone who can’t think past their own ego? Let the girl you’re asking out know that you’re someone who listens and can be friendly. Don’t say that out loud right away, of course, but just relay that through your actions.
Make comfortable eye contact, relax your face, and express through your smile. You’re obviously happy about the prospect that this person might go on a date with you, so smile a little bit.
Once you’ve broken the ice and are chatting, make sure that you’re paying good attention to what the other person is saying. Active listening is something that too few people do, and showing that you’re paying attention will win you points.
In fact, paying attention might actually make you more attractive. Anything you can do to tip the scales in your favor is a good thing!
At the end of the day, there’s a good chance that the girl you’re interested in has made up her mind before you even approach. We tend to know whether we’re attracted to people within the first few minutes of meeting them.
There’s some margin for error there, but you should use that fact as a comfort. If you’re going to get the date, it’s already happened. You just have to go ahead and ask.
Need More Dating Advice?
Whether you need more advice on how to ask a girl out or you’re curious about the next stages of the dating process, we’re here to help. You can never get enough advice when it comes to romantic relationships.
Explore our site for more insight on dating, attraction, and figuring out how to get it all started.
